Letting go doesn't necessarily means giving up

"Letting go doesn't mean giving up."

- Ven

"The one who was let go of is hurting, but the one letting go is hurting even more."

- Ven

We're drifting apart. It's apparent from the conversations we are having. Our conversations used to last, regardless we're together or just messaging. But now... everything has changed. He always ends the convo with "talk later" or "now I busy" etc. Sigh. And now, I don't have anything to talk to him about, it's just like how some people predicted.

But no, I still love him. I still cry because of him, I still think of him, I still miss him, a lot. But somehow or rather, I felt that things has changed, it's no longer how it used to be.. 

My parents still object of our relationship. Mostly my dad. My dad is against the idea of us keeping in contact as friends already, let alone being together. Yet, he doesn't know about this at all. Because I couldn't tell him... Why, I don't know.. I just simply thought not letting him know would probably make things easier... and I'll use this time when he's away to try persuade my parents if we're still together. Hopefully things would be just like how I thought of them to be and how I wished they would be.

Yesterday I spent the whole day out. Meeting Junhao, my sist, and Ivan, my bro?, and not to miss out, my annoying yet adorable brothers. Had lunch at Nex, MOF, before going to Popular to buy some materials used for scrapbook which I'll be using. Than we went to meet Shandy for badminton. Played 'till around 7, we decided to play "Truth or Dare", after which, we went to have dinner at a vegetarian restaurant. It's honestly very nice! For non-vegetarians, I'll actually recommend there as the food is really daebak! ^^

After dinner, we went to the playground to play. We really miss our childhood times! I know we shouldn't do that but yea... anyway, after that, we went to the badminton court near my house to play another round of badminton. ^^ until 11+. Now, I'm having body ache... OTL But it's fun~ so I don't regret it. Heh.

Anyw, that's all for now~ gonna go for project meeting with my friends! At airport... == Whatever. Ciaos~

Yesterday once more

"Don't regret whatever you had done. Even if it's a mistake.
Whatever that was done, was done. People were already hurt, intentionally or not.
Learn from the mistakes and get over it instead of living in the past, making the mistake repeatedly."
- Ven

A month since he has left.. OMG, I'm still not used to it. T.T It's like... I've gotten used to being with him almost everyday since Jan till June. And now, I've to get used to not being with him again. WTF?! Sigh, is this some kind of joke that has been playing on me?! T.T And I've been getting insecure... now I understand why many would say long-dist relationship isn't easy and typically don't last. Know why? We, girls would get fucking insecure and start wondering what if he found someone else, or what if he fell in love with some one else, etc.. there's so many "What if" that we could come up with. Same goes for the guys! They'll probably be insecure about themselves, thinking their girls would be asked out etc.

That's what happened to me and him. But no, we didn't break up or quarrel. It's just that I think too much and I actually nearly let him go. Can't believe it! OMG. But he spoke to me, kinda lecture me, actually. So yea... and he even said I watched to much dramas. -.- I do watch a lot, but no, I'm not affected by them. I'm actually affected by those around me. Those that said we'll definitely break up, long-dist relationship isn't easy etc. So yea, it sucks.

Anyw, yea... I've been having mood swings and was being a bitch to many people. But yea~ also, I've been skyping with him every night, well to be exact it's almost every night. So far so good, I guess? But I really don't like the fact that he is always out drinking. I mean, it's good to hang out with your friends and drink a little, but he is always drinking, and he drinks pretty much. Sigh. But that's his freedom, I can't make any comments, it's not like we're married or what. Even if we are, I don't have the rights to do so.

Now, he went to another city for work. Which means less time to skype + less time to chat. T.T Help me.. if I can't even get used to it despite skyping all the time, how would I fucking get used to it when we can hardly chat? OTL

"Break up" is everyone's suggestions. But no, I don't wanna break up over such things. It'll just show that our r/s isn't strong. If we're able to get over this, marriage won't be a problem already. Isn't it? I know, I'm still too young to talk about getting married, but I'm not that young to not think about it either.

Sigh, I just wish us the best, in hope everything goes well~ and that I can make it into university so we wouldn't struggle for living like how my family is doing now. I've already seen the mistakes they made, I don't wanna repeat it, neither do I wanna lead the same life with same routine as they do. So yea...

Anyw, ciaos~ seeya when I can update again!