Goodbye

"過去的一切，未必會過的去"
- Ven

"一定要记住，别忘了跟心爱的人说再见“
- Ven

I know I haven't been updating for quite long time, but there isn't much readers, so it's not like anyone would be bothered by it... Anyw, shits has happened at my workplace which made me feel damn fucked up... I'm not going to talk about it yet, maybe I will in some point of time, but not now.

Anyway, my life has been as usual. I was hooked up on a new weekly - updated Taiwan drama, 'Apple in Your Eye' aka 妹妹. It's so nice, no joke. There isn't a draggy storyline, things happen in every episodes. Some may find it a little draggy because of how the main roles were reluctant to admit their feelings or to confess even though it's fucking obvious. But, it isn't like those dramas nowadays that has typical scenes. No. Not at all. This drama has a really great storyline. Not to miss out, every characters has their own stories which would not be overlooked.

You know how some dramas, despite the characters having some stories from past which result to their present characters etc but were not clearly shown etc? There is no such case in this. The casting may not be perfect, but it's staring my all-time-favourite actor, Blue Lan aka 藍正龍. I don't know what others think, but I think he is really great at acting scenes that has very less talking but a lot of emotional acting. It's not easy, but he managed to do them great.

I've watched most of his dramas, not all. There were some which I don't really like.. for example, those w/o romance isn't my thing, and those which were dubbed, I don't like it.. But other than that, most of his dramas, I've watched them and I loved them. This drama would be another of my favourite.

Look at the dramas now, their storyline were getting draggy, and similar to one another or they simply re-film their version of some other dramas from other country etc. But this... it's quite unique. I wouldn't say there is none that's similar but there isn't many, not that I know of. And I gonna admit, I cried in every episode, including the previews. Also, I got really into it. I watched many dramas, be it Hongkong dramas, Japan dramas, Korean dramas, Taiwan dramas, Mainland dramas or even Singapore dramas. I've watched many dramas mostly romance with mixture of other genres. This resulted in my high standards when it comes to watching dramas.

Nowadays, I got bored after watching a few episodes here and there for the new dramas. But this... it got me so hooked up. New issues or new 'topics' every week, so it would make you look forward to it every week. That's the downside of this drama. One episode per week... so we gonna be very patience but it's a good thing if we have a hectic life, we wouldn't have to worry about having too much to watch or not being able to keep up.

Anyw, to watch, you can simply go to sugoideas.com to do so. (: they have a lot of Taiwan dramas uploaded there in case some of you hasn't heard of this website before. Also, new episodes would be uploaded quite fast as well ^^

Anyw, enough of the dramas stuff. I'll update again soon regarding my life... if there's even anyone who would bother to read...

For now, seeya~

Over

It has been quite some time since I've last blog. Some updates to what happened in my life for now:

1. I've broke up.
2. I got new jobs now.
3. I made new friend.

First, I broke up because my feelings faded and everyone knows, including me, that this r/s would not last. And I'm happier after this r/s ended. BUT I got really fucking annoyed. I hate it when people, be it guys or girls, continue to pester their ex. after breakup. It's fucking stupid, fucking annoying, fucking retarded, fucking idiotic and fucking ass.

Guess what? I got pestered, Know what? I told him my feelings faded, there's no way I'd turn back. He actually said if this ever happen it's understandable since we're far apart. And, no he did not let go. Instead, after much pestering and me scolding him after all the spamming etc, he go for people around me. He started going to people around me, asking them about me, telling them about our breakup etc.

Know why I got so annoyed?! Imagine this. After a long day at work, you realised your phone was spammed with notifications from your ex., pestering you etc. And you have to explain to everyone around you that knows about both of your r/s about the breakup etc. That's not all... he knows most of the people around you. WTF. He got almost all of your social network acc. like Facebook, WeChat, etc. Annoying isn't it?!

After calming down, he said to be friends. But he continued asking me stuffs, being as if we are still together, and asking me to think back etc. WTF That's not being friends, okay?! Get your fucking facts right, dumbfuck. After all the ignoring etc, he said we shall not be friends since it isn't going to work. I said okay, Because he is being fucking annoying, no joke. Not long later, he came and ask if we could continue being friends etc. Isn't it fucking stupid?! Isn't it fucking indecisive?! You're a fucking guy, man up. Be more decisive.

And know what?! I realised what kind of despo he is after breakup. I'm pretty dumb, I admit. I won't talk about this... so yea.

Next, I started working under Banquet in various hotel since I don't get much work now. Although pay isn't comparable, but I love the job. I love the teamwork everyone have and the r/s the managers have with the employees, us.

Lastly, I've made a few new friends. There were 2 guys, both 16. One in Singapore but from Myanmar, the other is in and from Netherlands. I know them from online, somewhat. There were also 2 girls, one 18, one 19. I got to know them as we were from the same agency,,, cool right?! Hehehe, and we just able to click right from the beginning... so yea..

Anyw, I'll end it here for now. Byes~

Letting go doesn't necessarily means giving up

"Letting go doesn't mean giving up."

- Ven

"The one who was let go of is hurting, but the one letting go is hurting even more."

- Ven

We're drifting apart. It's apparent from the conversations we are having. Our conversations used to last, regardless we're together or just messaging. But now... everything has changed. He always ends the convo with "talk later" or "now I busy" etc. Sigh. And now, I don't have anything to talk to him about, it's just like how some people predicted.

But no, I still love him. I still cry because of him, I still think of him, I still miss him, a lot. But somehow or rather, I felt that things has changed, it's no longer how it used to be.. 

My parents still object of our relationship. Mostly my dad. My dad is against the idea of us keeping in contact as friends already, let alone being together. Yet, he doesn't know about this at all. Because I couldn't tell him... Why, I don't know.. I just simply thought not letting him know would probably make things easier... and I'll use this time when he's away to try persuade my parents if we're still together. Hopefully things would be just like how I thought of them to be and how I wished they would be.

Yesterday I spent the whole day out. Meeting Junhao, my sist, and Ivan, my bro?, and not to miss out, my annoying yet adorable brothers. Had lunch at Nex, MOF, before going to Popular to buy some materials used for scrapbook which I'll be using. Than we went to meet Shandy for badminton. Played 'till around 7, we decided to play "Truth or Dare", after which, we went to have dinner at a vegetarian restaurant. It's honestly very nice! For non-vegetarians, I'll actually recommend there as the food is really daebak! ^^

After dinner, we went to the playground to play. We really miss our childhood times! I know we shouldn't do that but yea... anyway, after that, we went to the badminton court near my house to play another round of badminton. ^^ until 11+. Now, I'm having body ache... OTL But it's fun~ so I don't regret it. Heh.

Anyw, that's all for now~ gonna go for project meeting with my friends! At airport... == Whatever. Ciaos~

Yesterday once more

"Don't regret whatever you had done. Even if it's a mistake.
Whatever that was done, was done. People were already hurt, intentionally or not.
Learn from the mistakes and get over it instead of living in the past, making the mistake repeatedly."
- Ven

A month since he has left.. OMG, I'm still not used to it. T.T It's like... I've gotten used to being with him almost everyday since Jan till June. And now, I've to get used to not being with him again. WTF?! Sigh, is this some kind of joke that has been playing on me?! T.T And I've been getting insecure... now I understand why many would say long-dist relationship isn't easy and typically don't last. Know why? We, girls would get fucking insecure and start wondering what if he found someone else, or what if he fell in love with some one else, etc.. there's so many "What if" that we could come up with. Same goes for the guys! They'll probably be insecure about themselves, thinking their girls would be asked out etc.

That's what happened to me and him. But no, we didn't break up or quarrel. It's just that I think too much and I actually nearly let him go. Can't believe it! OMG. But he spoke to me, kinda lecture me, actually. So yea... and he even said I watched to much dramas. -.- I do watch a lot, but no, I'm not affected by them. I'm actually affected by those around me. Those that said we'll definitely break up, long-dist relationship isn't easy etc. So yea, it sucks.

Anyw, yea... I've been having mood swings and was being a bitch to many people. But yea~ also, I've been skyping with him every night, well to be exact it's almost every night. So far so good, I guess? But I really don't like the fact that he is always out drinking. I mean, it's good to hang out with your friends and drink a little, but he is always drinking, and he drinks pretty much. Sigh. But that's his freedom, I can't make any comments, it's not like we're married or what. Even if we are, I don't have the rights to do so.

Now, he went to another city for work. Which means less time to skype + less time to chat. T.T Help me.. if I can't even get used to it despite skyping all the time, how would I fucking get used to it when we can hardly chat? OTL

"Break up" is everyone's suggestions. But no, I don't wanna break up over such things. It'll just show that our r/s isn't strong. If we're able to get over this, marriage won't be a problem already. Isn't it? I know, I'm still too young to talk about getting married, but I'm not that young to not think about it either.

Sigh, I just wish us the best, in hope everything goes well~ and that I can make it into university so we wouldn't struggle for living like how my family is doing now. I've already seen the mistakes they made, I don't wanna repeat it, neither do I wanna lead the same life with same routine as they do. So yea...

Anyw, ciaos~ seeya when I can update again!

Far apart.

'Distance between us doesn't necessarily brings distance to our love.
Physically apart but if mentally together, that's enough.'
- Ven

'If it's meant to be yours, it'll be yours regardless what happens.
Otherwise, there's nothing you can do about it.'
-Ven

’习惯是很可怕的一种东西'
- Ven

My eyes are swollen. T.T Because I've been crying everyday since Sunday 'till today. And no, I'm not okay even I try to be. That's because he returned to his home-town on Monday. And tbh, I cried so badly. I missed him, a lot. Actually, by saying I miss him a lot is an understatement. I've gotten so used to seeing him almost everyday, that for me being not able to meet him, it's unbearable.

I'm so used to having him around me that now I felt so empty without him now. I've gotten used to his hugs, his kisses, the way he held my hand, the way he hold onto me when I'm trying to balance on the curbs to ensure I don't fall, him sending me home after work regardless he is working too or not, the way he pinches my cheeks, how he would play with my hair, how he tuck my hair behind my ears, how he could just stare at me, how he'd nag at me for not taking care of myself and even scolding me from time to time for being careless, how I can truly be myself around him without hesitations, how he takes care and dote me in every possible way, and how he can always give in to me, letting me throw tantrums or acting like a spoilt brat around him.

That was not all, it is such a long list that can fill a whole page. Getting used to something is really scary, especially when what you've gotten used to is no longer there, and you have to get used to it's absence overnight. T.T Seeing our photos, being at the places we've been for, re-reading our previous messages would make me cry without fail. Even thinking of him would.

I've cried many times, badly, because of being afraid. Afraid that it'll just be puppy love for him, afraid that it's just a game to him, afraid that I'm not good enough for him, afraid that he would find someone else better, afraid that I'll lose him somehow, afraid that he won't need or want me anymore... there're so many things that I'm afraid of simply because I'm insecure and lack of self-confidence. But he never fails to push them to the back of my mind just by simply saying "I love you".

Many people told me "saying 'I love you' is easy, but does the person who says it meant it, it'll be another story", "long-dist. r/s doesn't last bec it's hard to maintain", "he might be simply using you", blahblahblah and many more negative stuffs. But I'd always ignore these, not bec I'm being stubborn or naive or stupid. It's bec I've been brought up with the thinking of that "if it's meant to be yours, nothing can pull you both apart. But if it's not meant to be, there's nothing you can do about it" by my mum whenever she speaks to me about r/s, even up 'till today. So what if he doesn't mean it, there's nothing I can do. Yes, I'll get hurt but I learnt a lesson from this. How do I know if our r/s would last or not just based on other's experiences? Some lasted and even had happy ending like Xiaxue's, but some didn't. Thou the one that failed stands a higher chance, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. You'll never know if you never tried. So what if he's simply using me. I can do nothing about it.

If there's a will, there's be a way. I believe we can last long if we both try. I wouldn't want to be spending my time on r/s that don't last. I don't want to have endless number of boyfr but none last. I want to be in a r/s that lasts. Even if it's the only r/s I've been in. I want to be in a r/s in hope of getting married in future and not a r/s that is just for fun or experience blahblahblah. I know, Y.O.L.O. and you gain experiences from failed r/s but you won't need any failed r/s if you meet the right person. Some of you might think it's bullshit. It's okay, diff people have diff opinion about the same thing. That's unchangeable, bec we're brought up in diff culture, diff background and diff teaching.

My bestfr told me this "don't waste your time if you think it won't last, just break up. It's better now than later. But if you truly love him, you don't have to even think if it'll last or not bec you'll know it will.", and another told me "you chose this, you don't have a right to regret. But if you do, end it." I think what they said are true. Esp when they've been in many r/s before (contradicting with what I said earlier, I know but yea..) Many of my friends gave me advices knowing I'm slow and dumb when it comes to r/s. Heh.

But honestly, he's the only one that somehow changed me and is able to bring out the real me. My cousins told me I've became really cheerful, somewhat a spoilt brat and etc., diff from the usual mature, somewhat cool, fierce and "scary" me. Hahahahahas. That's a good thing, I guess. And they'd tease me for being in love whenever I blushed or smiled bec of him. Heh.

It's a mixture of everything for our r/s, but we've never gotten into a fight before. Probably bec we knew ea other's personality. So we wouldn't do something that ea other doesn't like. Even if we did, unknowingly or not, we knew what to do to appease the anger. Heh. So it's a good thing, I guess. Thou many said a r/s won't last if we don't quarrel or something, I think it wouldn't last either if there's too much arguments. I think so long as you know how to give and take, and you know what ea other likes and dislikes, or you know what to do to appease the anger or make up for your mistakes.

Anyw, I'll just end here for now~ it's getting late. And I'm supposed to be sleeping at 1+, yet it's 3am alr. OMG. I'll probably be murdered. >.<

My First Love Story~

'First doesn't always necessarily means there'll be a second.

Being first can be the last at the same time too, being the one and only.'

- Ven

'Be it good or bad, there is always something that we gain from it.
Accept it, regardless it being either because it happens as it meant to.'
- Ven

OMG, it's so fucking long since I've last blogged. And my fanfics, they're practically dead. Fuck.  OMG, I almost died. T.T OTL anyw, my mood has been up and down these few days, or should I say these few weeks? Heh.

And so much had happened at work. Be it good or bad, but all these adds on to my work experiences. So it's alright, I guess. Well... as my dad said, 'so long as I am not doing something that I shouldn't be doing etc, don't care what others do or say bout me. 'cause I don't live for them.' I totally agree.

Know.it.all? Nah~

"My heart can't possibly break when it's not even whole to start with" 
- Kelly Clarkson [Because of you]

OMG, how long has it been since I've last updated? Few days? Okay, anyway I've gotten myself purple highlights on my fringe, an add-on to my already reddish-brownish hair with my black roots growing. WTF, not to miss out, some white hairs here and there. White hairs, migraines, sensitive nose... I've inherited all of them from my mum. Fuck. Why don't she pass to me her good genes like big eyes?! OTL

Anyw, my selfies for the day~ I know I look shitty, just scroll down if it's bothering you. Heh. XP

Anyw, yea.. I've realised many people hasn't figured out what kind of person I am regardless how much I've blog or told them.
Well... these are what I've always gotten from people around me.

My personality:
1. I'm naive. Yes. I am. Fuck. I simply believe everything you said so long as you sound and looked convincing.
2. I have trust issues. Okay, contradicting, yea? I don't trust people easily, but when you earned my trust, you earned all of it.
3. I'm a paranoid bitch. E.g. I'd worried about friends leaving me etc, probably because too many did.
4. I believe in everything. I believe in aliens, monsters, angels, god, miracles. Whatever you name it.
5. I believe in fairytales. Not that Cinderella exist. -.- I believe in them as in that there'll be "happily ever after" etc.
6. I'm family orientated. Family comes first for me. Regardless what it is. But surely, there'll be times friends would but yea..
7. I'm denial. When I insist on something being true or etc, even if it's not, I'll find all sorts of excuses. Heh. XP
8. I'm fucking competitive. Unless it's something meaningless or it's more beneficial for me to lose than win.
9. I'm independent yet not. I've always been independent since probably around 4? So if I'm with people at my age, I'm more like the adult. However, with people who are older or mature than I am, I'll be like a kid. Hahas.
10. I have lots of aegyo. But my aegyo ... you'll only understand it is if you know me for long time. It's not obvious or what to those who doesn't know me well.
11. I'm a daddy girl, a mommy boy. Most of the time.
12. I'm boyish yet girlish. At certain times, I'm like guys. I have the 'heck care' attitude of most guys' and the way they talk or behave, I have some of them. Yet, I'm like a normal girl, dressing up, shopping etc.
13. I'm fucking indulged in kpop. Don't thrash them if you don't want me to reply you with insults.
14. I can be fucking mean and vulgar etc. Look at my past posts. Which of them doesn't have a vulgarity in them. I bet none. And I've gotten the sarcasm in me from my mum.
15. I'm insensitive. Well, to be more exact, I don't think through before saying anything sometimes. So.. sometimes whatever I said turned out to be more hurtful than I wanted it to be.
16. I've bad temper and I'm bossy. This, I have no explanation for it. That's just me.
17. I'm very soft-hearted. I cry when I watch shows about poor elderly living alone etc. No joke.
18. I cry very easily. Reading fanfics, watching movie/dramas etc, if I'm into it, prepare boxes of tissues. ^^

When I...:
say I don't know - depends on the convo. sometimes I said that because I'm too ... shy(?) to express what I really want to say. E.g. if you ask me "like/love him" and I'd answer "don't know.." when it fact, hell yeah, I do. And/or it's just I'm too lazy/can't be bothered to reply. Sometimes, it's that I don't get what you're saying. It all depends on the convo.
say nothing when asked about something - it either shows I'm fed up with you not knowing what I wanna say or I'm to lazy to explain or I meant it.
say it's okay - sometimes it's not. Look at my tone and messages, are they the way usual way I use when talking to you or not?
stare into space - most of the time, there's many things going on in my mind. Snap me out of it. Most of the time, there's so many things that I just decide to stare into the space blankly thinking about nothing. Snap me out of it, it's one of my not-obvious way of calling for help that there's so many things bothering me.
stares at my phone - I'm waiting for someone to text (duh) or I'm awkward to be in the situation or I'm bored
lost appetite - fuck, it's a serious thing. I'm either sick or something is really bothering me. For someone like me to not want to eat, it has to be something serious.
got hyper/high - don't be surprise. I'm always acting as if I'm on drugs, getting high out of nowhere suddenly. It's either because I'm trying to make things less awkward or it's simply that I'm out of my mind or that so many things are bothering me that I'm letting things out in my way.
got touchy/a lot of skinship - don't be shocked. I love skinships actually. Just that am I close enough with you to act that way or not and that if I'm shy (?) or not. Heh

That's all. I guess? Can't remember the rest. will update when I remember the rest. ^^

Live to the Fullest

"You only live once. It's either you live your dreams or just dream living it."
- Ven

OMG. I'm so gonna go bankrupt soon!!! T.T Here's the reason why:

1. 2NE1 world tour in Singapore (Confirmed - 4th April)
2. EXO's comeback in March (according to M! Countdown website & twitter)
3. SM TOWN in Singapore (TBC)
4. YG Family Concert in Singapore (TBC)
5. EXO's Asia Tour (TBC)
6. SHINee's Fanmeet in Singapore (TBC)

WHATTTTT?!?!?!?!? OMG, I'm gonna go bankrupt especially when I'm starting Poly soon. OTL Whatever, I'm gonna go for which ever events I can go and buy whichever album of my bias if I can. And I wanna go Korea. OMG. It's all so fucked up. Argh, whatever, screw 'em.

And I'm thinking of dye-ing my hair the same as Baek's during Wolf era. The maroon/purple one. Probably gonna do it for CNY~ hehehe. Many 'what if's came into my mind but screw 'em, YOLO, y' know! ^^

I've forgotten what I wanna post. So I'd just end here. If I happened to remember, I'll post it. XP

bye

First Love

"It has became a habit of mine to let go of those whom I loved and cherished,
fearing they would let go of me someday.
It's a scary habit that protected me even during my downs."
- Ven

OMG. So sorry. Well.... so much as been going on these days. And yep, as you can see on my title and my info section, I'm attached. Heh. Well, actually we both admit it's a lil' hasty for us to get together 'cause we just got to know each other this year. As in literally, 2014. Yea, we do see each other sometimes because he works next door as a chef, I guess. I'm not really good with names of occupations etc. Whatever. Anyway, and 'cause our workplace are under the same company, we shared the kitchen so we would bump into each other sometimes. (not literally but yea..) However, we never talked much. Probably just saying 'hi' etc.

Some of my friends told me it'll be a risk. I know. Being the person whom I am, I fell in love. Hahahs. But I am happy with him, it's just that there'll be a moment or two whereby I'd wanna kill him. Esp when he tease me about me on diet. Argh. This annoying fella! Anyw, he's my first boyfriend and so am I his first girlfriend. (that's what his friend and him said). And being together only for few days, we managed to date though. Hahahs. We would wait for each other (mostly him waiting for me) before we would head home. He would always send me home before going home on his home. However, the direction to his home and mine is a complete different direction which meant he is always taking a detour. >.<

He's always being all nice to me etc. Hahahahas. Which is good, I guess? And everyone p, the chefs and service crews etc, knows about our relationship, OMG. So I'd be teased whenever they see us together or something. Like eg yesterday he walked by our kitchen 'cause he needs to go to the freezer to get something, and I happened to be in the kitchen too so we smiled to each other. Than, my manager and colleagues were like "eyyyyy, no flirting!!!" Hahahahahas.

Anyw, I told my mum about us, and she said because I'm her daughter, there isn't anyway for her not to be judgmental, but she's trying, I guess, not to be. Whatever it is, we're together now, it's all that matters, isn't it? Hahahahahs.

Anyw. I've gotten back my O level results, I got 14 for L1R2B2. Heh. B3 for English, A1 for Chinese, A2 for Combined Science, B3 for Combined Humanities and C5 for Math (fuck). So yep... hopefully I'm able to enter the course I wanted to go... /pray hard/

That's all for now. Bye~

Expect the worst and not the best.

Don't get your hopes high if you can't stand disappointments.
The higher your hopes, the greater the disappointment.
- Ven.

OMG, haven't been updating at all!!! T.T Had been working literally everyday since 31st Dec. Was supposed to have an off-day on Sunday but I went to my aunt's to work. And finally, I'll be having off-days for 3 days, using excuse of poly open house and on release of results day. Oh well~ there's additional $2/hr everyday now, so why not? Hahahas. But it's freaking tiring to be standing and talking the whole day thou I love to talk. But hey, talking at work and with friends is totally different! OMG. And you've no idea how much I hate some of the people I met (mostly customers). But, I've met some really nice people too! ^^ Like the part-timers of my age from next door, some chefs and etc. Heh.

My manager is nice... but... her mood swings are scary. In one moment, she can be joking around with you etc and the next - after making a slight mistake - she'll be ignoring your presence and shows a stern expression. As for my supervisor... she's pretty nice but she's kinda bossy - that's what we all (the staffs) agreed on. Hahs. And as for the other part-timers.. the guys are nice. I guess? They'll help out if you ever need help, but one of them (there's 2 male part-timers) can be annoying and childish that I suspect he has the mentality age of a 7's.

My supervisor is nice. Just that... she's really strict. And she nags, a lot. Hahahahas. But she is someone that you can look for when in need of advice. I guess?

Well, there's one more female part-timer. And no, not the type of friends I'd be close with. Probably just talk and etc, but not totally close. So yea... there's 2 male ones, but I've never really befriended with them. Probably just colleagues that would joke around with each other? Hahahas.

So yea, here's my worklife. OTL

#friendsIcherishthemost

“朋友得来不易，却容易失去

对彼此的不信任是友谊结束的瞬间”

- Ven

I don't even know if the quote makes sense. 헐. Anyway, I'm updating via iPad mini just like my previous post. So might be lengthy since I can't see how much I've written clearly.

Anyw, back to the topic... just like my post title, I'm writing this post about the friends I cherish the most. And I have a feeling the post will be hell long, so you can skip it if you want to. Unless you wanna know more about my social life etc.

In my heart, my family would always come first. This is what people would ALWAYS says but fail to keep it true, but as for me, I stick to it. I'm a family orientated person and it's so serious that I would cancel on someone last minute for a day out with my family. And next is these few friends that I cherish the most and always will. So don't be surprise if I cancel on you and the next minute you saw me tweeting or posting pictures on Instagram of me with them.

They are Abby, Lynette and Khadijah. They're all of the same importance. Regardless how long I've known them for. They're all equally important to me that it would kill me should I lose them as a friend - no joke. I'm fucking insecure when it comes to them. The thought of them having a new close friend and would leave me scares the fucking hell out of me.

Abby - she's 16 y/o. Just like me. ^^ and I took few years to remember her birthday, 29 April. Right....? Hahahahahahs, I have a feeling she'll murder me if I got it wrong, again. Anyw, we're both Kpop fans. And it's same for us. We like Taiwanese artistes before Kpop. Thou the ones we like are always different, hehehe. This year, 2013 is our 9th year being friends. And almost every year, we'll exchange Xmas and bday gifts - more like demanding from each other, HAHAHAHAS.

We got to know each other when we were primary 2. I can't remember how we met but we aren't very close at that time. But I remember we were primary 4 when we were appointed to the same English class. Last time, there was a system whereby they would split us into 'composition' class according to our standards. And we sat next to each other. Hehehehe. Know what gotten us to be so close?!?! My parents always asked me to bring extra sets of foolscape paper. So I'd always have one new one and one that I'm still using.

She'll always write so fast and so much, and she'll always turn to me, "Venecia, can I have somemore paper?" It has gotten to the point whereby I'd pass her 3 pieces of paper from the start. That's how much she wrote. 5 fucking pages ... more or less around there. Don't you think it's insane?!?!

We gotten closer until she told me she's migrating to China 'cause of her dad's work. Even so, we continued keeping in contact and as time passes, we're so fucking close. Hahahahahahs I doubt there is anything that I don't tell her. She might not tell me everything but she's there when I need her to be. And she's always giving me advices when I need them or listen to my rants that are fucking childish.

Even so, you wouldn't wanna mess with her. Her temper isn't something you can joke around with. Have I ever mention to you guys how she punched me few times and caused bruises?! And guess what?! It's all because of her "贺军翔". /roll eyes/ and no, don't try it. Cause at that time, she wasn't even using much of her strength. If you don't know what kind of girl she is, don't mess with her.

And the touching thing is that not only she's always there when I needed her to be, there was once I asked what would she do if I had a boyfriend that cheated behind my back or was being a jerk etc. her answer was "don't ever lemme see him or he can bid farewell to his balls." Smth like that. Don't ever think I'll forget! Hahahahahahs. XP

Also, I'd bug her to meet etc whenever she's back. Hahahahahahs. So yea, we met more frequent than me meeting my other friends (not listed above) that are in Singapore.

Lynette - she's 19 y/o. Birthday is exactly a week before my "husband's". Hehehe, 7th Jan. I wrote about how we met etc on previous post alr, but know what?! She read it (she's my loyal reader) and texted me in the morning when I'm barely awake. And never reply me after that!!!! ): hahahahahahs.

Anyw, she's one of the few friends that I fully trusted and had a feeling which "our friendship is gonna last for years". Know why? She's one of the few who tolerates my nonsense even when I'm overboard at times. And she treats me like her younger sister. Whenever I'm with her, it's like I finally have a older sister and I can be however childish and willful I want. Hehehehe.

And she's like always there for me. Letting me rant when I can't rant to anyone else, taking care of me - in a way, teaching me, and tolerating me. Isn't it really great to have such friends?! Her traveling so far to meet me at my convenience, tolerating all my flaws that few could (not even my brothers), and helping me in whatever way she is capable of. Nonetheless, she really takes care of me. Being around her, I felt like I'm the maknae (youngest) and not the eldest sibling.  Hehehehe. ^^

This auntie of mine is the one I can show my childish side to, which to many I can't show. And it's rare ... 'cause being the person I am, I always put up strong front, trying to be as mature as independent as I could. And sometimes pushing myself too hard that I'd break down, crying myself to sleep or in shower.

Not only these, she also bought me the daily planner I wanted and gave me as a Christmas present. Auntie-ah, I'd use it well~ ^^ hehehehe. Thanks soooooooooo much. Tbh I felt guilty when she really got it for me. I was hell shocked too!!! And we got the same earpiece~ wait, auntie-ah, are you using it?!?! ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

And I always remember how crazy she is in karaoke. Don't go with her if you have a weak heart! But I enjoyed myself. Cause I've suppress that side of me that I forgot how to enjoy it to the fullest until I went with her. HAHAHAHAS. And yes, I went out of tune many times. I'm a totally perfect example of being tone-deaf. Hahahahahahs.

And she's like "I'm so friendly and nice" etc.. My ass!!! Hahahahahahs, joking~~~~ she's really nice! No joke. You'll be surprised!!! ^^

Khadijah - 16 y/o. Birthday on 4th December. This bitch of mine migrated to Malaysia. ): we became really close immediately after she transferred to my school and my class in secondary 1, 2nd semester. We were actually from same primary school too, but her being a shorty, I don't have much memory of her. Hahahahahahs, she's gonna be like "you bitch!!!!" when she reads this.

She also frequently tolerate my bossiness and etc. There isn't anything we don't talk to each other about. From family to love life to idols. Even if she likes EPOP while me Kpop. Yea, we fight all the time. But always get over it in less than a day. He hehehehe. She can't resist me. XP (she's probably puking now if she reads this)

And she's a friend I'd wanna protect with everything I could. She's that vulnerable yet pretends to be strong. And we'll always bitch about everyone from our school or some random stranger that passed by us. Due to her family financial issue, I'd drag her to Nex and eat with her by ordering smth we could both share. And yes, she's Malay - a Muslim. She'd always solve my curiosities about Muslim or Malay culture, which is pretty cool. ^^

Seeing this, we can all tell Abby is a friend that would protect me etc., Lynette is a friend that can be perceived as family, Khadijah is a friend that I would protect. Hahahahahahs. Both Khadijah and Lynette are the same, tolerating me etc.. As for Abby, yes she does, sometimes. But more like me tolerating her cause I'm too afraid to get her angry. Her punches hurt like son of a bitch. No joke.

And these 3 are friends I don't ever wanna lose, and will do whatever it takes to not lose them. I loved and cherish them, and I always will. And if one day, they really did left (which would kill me, srsly) I'd do whatever it takes to get them back. Sound like couples eh? That's how I am. Friends are honestly more important than my future boyfriend etc but family is the ultimately most important ones. Actually, these 3 are almost at the level of family. Hahahahahahs. XP

Guys~let's keep our friendship going till we die. HAHAHAHAS, ^^ you guys are so gonna have me sticking around for decades! XD you are so not gonna get rid of me! XP 

Friendship is easy to get, hard to manage.

"Having one close friend is better than having many friends."

- Ven

I'm gonna dedicate this post to my bestbestbest sister, Lynette. Hehe. XP how we got to know each other and how we gotten so close is quite funny. I got to know her through an EXO fan site whereby I 'work' as a project manager at and she 'work' as an translator.

We called initially to discuss about the project since we're one of the few staffs from Singapore ... However, we realised as we talked, we click! It's just like .... we're twins...? Hahas! We have the same frequency and wavelength, being able to catch each other's joke.

That was the first time we spoke to each other - through calls. We even joked about how sasaeng fans of EXO would cut the tiles of stage that EXO stood on in and sell them in eBay or smth, naming it "the tiles EXO stood on" and the carpets of the hotel corridor, "the carpet that EXO might walked on" etc. hahas, and there were other many disgusting stuffs. Hehe.

And the first time we met was at Orchard Central... No awkwardness at all, hahas! And she was supposed to teach me chemistry but we ended up talking, me taking selcas, and after that going to karaoke to sing. That was the first time we met, but it felt like it isn't ... Hahas! XD

We even exchanged letters etc, and she being the older one, always give in to me. Staying at Yew Tee, she came to Serangoon for me. OMG. >.< And my mum likes her for some reason which is rare cause she normally would just pretend to be friendly to my friends .. but with Lynette, I don't see the pretense.

And there isn't a anything much that we don't each other... surely there'll be some secrets, I guess... But who doesn't have their own secrets that they never wanna tell others? And being best friends or sisters doesn't necessarily means that we've to share all of our secrets. Secrets are meant for diaries ... that's what we both agrees.

Also, my brothers likes her, a lot. For some reasons ... normally, they don't interact much with my friends. But with her.. It's a different story. I should stop here cause she'll get cocky saying "of course la, I look so friendly and I'm so nice" etc that makes me wanna puke. Hahas

I'm certain our friendship could last. Cause she's one of the few friends that I can don't keep contact with much but still is close... the rest were my childhood friend, Abby and my another best friend , Khadijah. ^^ hehe. And she's just like them, one of the few who could tolerate me for who I am and not expecting me to change. Unlike some of my other friends, expecting me to change for them etc.

Among my friends, she's one of the few hardcore EXO fans. And remembering how she embarrass herself in front of me sometimes and vice versa... hahas ... XP

Anyw, I'll end it here or she might kill me if I can't help but write out our embarrassing moments. Hehe. XD

Everyone deserves love.

"To be loved is what everyone deserves."
- Ven

Hey guys~ I'm back again! ^^ Heh! Well... this week is gonna be quite hectic, I think. I've work - evening shift - on Wednesday and Friday, 6pm to 10pm. Thursday a movie day out with family~ ^^ watching Hobbit 2 or smth? Saturday going Bugis with my brothers and my bestbestbest sister Lynette. Heh! ^^

OMG, I'm sooooooo excited! ^^ Anyw, I've been working out and trying to lose weight now. OTL so yea.... here are some tips I've gathered to share with you guys if you wanna lose weight! ^^

TIP 1:
Have a balanced diet. It is VERY important! Many doctors and nutritionist have been stressing this! No matter how much you wanna lose weight, you MUST have a balanced diet. And drink plenty of water not beverages! Also, after meals, drink some Chinese tea or Japanese green tea as they can break down the fats we had consumed. ^^
Here's some examples you guys can learn from:

E.g. 1: Drink black bean milk. According to nutritionist, it is healthy to do so. You may drink black bean milk along with some bread and/or fruits for breakfast; normal meal for lunch; drink it along with some salad (or not) for dinner. It is important to have at least 1 balanced meal where there is protein, carbohydrates etc.

To make the drink, all you need to do is to pour desirable amount of black bean and boil it. When it's cooked, pour them into a blender and pour milk into it. Blend them together and it's done! ^^ It taste similar to the black soya bean milk that we can find in packets. But sugar and preservatives etc are added so it's not as healthy as compared to making them on your own.

According to the nutritionist, you will fill full drinking it as it's milk and there is water inside the bean when you boil it, so it'll be filling for you. However, do note that if you're a starter, it's best if you eat 2 meals first before cutting down to only 1 normal meal daily. A normal meal would be 1/4 plate of rice, 1/4 plate of meat, 1/2 plate of veggies. ^^

Cr.: I came across this while watching a Korean reality show, Star King. (:

E.g. 2: There's a soup called 巫婆汤, a direct translation would be "witch soup". It's actually a soup whereby we mix all sorts of veggies in it. But do note that not to add potatoes or anything that has carbohydrate. However, a nutritionist did mention that it's a unbalanced diet to have only veggies, so what she suggest is to add meat (preferably beef or smth that's high in protein). But no, you do not add any amount you like. Add only one piece that is the size and thickness of your palm. ^^

You can have this for all 3 meals as it'll be considered a balanced diet if you have it with a small serving of rice, providing you some carbohydrates that you'll need for the day. But not too much rice as they're high in sugar as well. Actually, a better choice would be brown rice. If you dislike the taste of brown rice, you can mix them with a little white rice. ^^

My maternal grandma, for instance, had heart problem and had to do operation. Her doctor also advice her to eat brown rice instead of white rice as comparing both of them, brown rice is definitely a healthier choice. ^^ However, brown rice taste different from the white rice so I didn't like it at first. So what my grandma did was to mix them together. And it's healthier compared to eating solely white rice isn't it? ^^

Cr.: I came across this while watching a Taiwanese talk show, 康熙来了. ^^


TIP 2:
Exercise for about an hour or more daily. I know some of you might roll your eyes as you read this. I understand. I hate exercising too. I HATE running or staying under the hot sun, neither do I like going gym where everyone would stare at you from time to time etc. So what I did was to get a yoga ball and dumbbells. It works, no joke! ^^

Using the yoga ball, you can do exercise from your arms to stomach to your thighs. You may check out this website: http://ball-exercises.com/exercises/index.html they provide hell lots of methods you can use to train different body areas, and it works! ^^

If working out alone is lonely yet you don't want to do it with strangers, get your friends or siblings or anyone you feel comfortable with to come over your house and do it with you at your own comfort. ^^ Working out and exercising should be a pleasant one. ^^

Also, every night before I sleep, I do a set of sit-ups. Not to the extend whereby I sweat profusely but to the extend whereby I feel tired. Probably a set of 10 to 20...? Do not start by doing so many that your body could hardly handle. Start with a few first. Probably 5 first, then increase by a few every week. As for me, because I used to do sit-ups frequently due to the C.C.A I took - modern dance and rope skipping - I had to do sit-ups as warm up. So it's smth like a forte of mine but due to me being fat, I can't do much in short timing. Heh. I am able to do 60 sit-ups but within a longer time frame without rest in between. So if you add a lil' everyday, you'll be able to do the same.

As for teens that are still growing, I'd recommend rope skipping too. It not only helps me shed off up to 10 kg within couple month for skipping every 2 days a week, it helped me grew up to 10 cm too! ^^ Having a height of around 163 - 165 cm is thanks to this! ^^ However, do note not to overdo or you'll have muscles on your calves that you'll want to get rid of (like me).


TIP 3: 
Walk. Instead of taking bus or driving or etc, use walking. I live 15mins walk away from Nex, and there's a bus-stop nearby which provide all buses that stops at Nex. However, I chose to walk for that 15mins back and forth instead of taking bus. Not only you can exercise but also save money! ^^

It may be a short distance, but it can help to burn some fats. And walking back and forth every now and then, soon you'll be used to it and the distance you can walk can increase. ^^

Also, when you have to go downstairs to buy a meal or smth, instead of using the lift, walk down using the stairs! ^^ You can also burn some fats as you do so. However, if you're fat - like me - DO NOT climb up the stairs. I live at the 7th level, I'll climb down the stairs but not up. This is because we're actually damaging out knees and joints by doing as due to our heave weight and the gravity that is pulling us down. The gravitational potential energy actually increases as we climb up the stairs but decreases as we walk down. ^^


TIP 4:
Set a target. For me, I told myself to slim down to look good in the dresses and skirts I bought for CNY. So do the same and it will motivate you to exercise frequently. By having such targets, we would be motivated and determined to lose weight. Another method is to weigh yourself everyday, take note of your weigh. If it's decreasing, wouldn't you feel great? Wouldn't you feel a sense of accomplishment? So why not do it? ^^

Also, ask a friend or family member of yours to monitor you if you're afraid you do not have enough will power to push yourself everyday. Get them to use any methods that will drive you to work harder! ^^ It will definitely work with the support of your loved ones.


TIP 5:
Give yourself a break. Though slimming down is the target, but working so hard everyday, your motivation and determination would actually die off. So every week, choose a day whereby you'll give yourself a break from exercising and from the dieting meal. However, despite this, watch what you eat or what you've worked for the entire week would go down the drain!

And doing so, you can increase it from a day break weekly to a day break fortnightly, and finally monthly etc. ^^ And soon, you'll realise, you've adapt to such dieting etc and you no longer need any break! ^^


These tips hopefully would be useful! However, once you've reached your desirable weight or body figure, do note not to go back to how you used to be! ^^

Let's all work hard and slim down~ hahas ^^

Dreams are not merely dreams

"Dreams don't necessarily happens in sleep."
-Ven.

Wow, how long has it been since I last updated? Sorry for not updating. Had been hell busy with both work & family~ And no, I'm not finding an excuse (probably a lil' ) Did anyone here realise how fast the time has past? It seemed to me that not long ago, I was still in my class, studying and preparing for O' levels. And now, it's all over and here I am, working while waiting for my results.

For these past weeks, I've been working and resting during my off days. OTL To make it simple, I've no life at all. Hahas, but I had fun at work! ^^ Thou I'm not close with my colleagues but we get along pretty well. ^^ I'm working at Tontei Pork Restaurant which is under the same company as many popular Jap. restaurants such as Ichiban Boshi, Green Pumpkin etc. And from what I know, we're the only Tontei outlet in Singapore. Cool, isn't it?

We can be found at Nex, B1. Shokutsu 10. Specialised in porks, we do not sell beefs and only a few sets with chicken.


Above is how my workplace looks like.
Wondering how's the food? No point asking me since I've NEVER ate there thou I work there. So here's some reviews I found online: REVIEW 1 and REVIEW 2

Mostly I work 2 days every week unless they're short of manpower for the day. The number of stuffs are pretty less as there's only a manager, supervisor, 4 part-timers. That's all - I guess? And the pay is pretty good too! $7/hr on weekdays and $8/hr on weekends or PH.

Working here is quite enjoyable but annoying at the same time. Enjoyable 'cause we get along pretty well and it isn't as strict as where I work previously. (I HATE my previous workplace - especially the manager. I've murdered him in my mind countless time) Annoying 'cause we're restricted to only wearing dark coloured shoes and jeans (black is preferred). And thou I like wearing black, imagine me wearing black tee, black jeans and black shoes. OMG. But rules are rules. So FML. Hahas!

Last Saturday, on my off-day I went to have my inner conch pierced. If you're wondering where it is, here's a pic below to show you the names of different piercings. ^^

 

These are the piercings I already have:
Left ear:
2 standard lobe;
1 upper lobe;
1 helix

Right ear:
2 standard lobe;
2 cartilage (quite similar to the 2nd picture but mine is a lil' lower);
1 inner conch

The 2 standard lobe piercings are done by my mum - she used to be a piercer. Pain level: 2/10. The first piercing was when I was 3 or 4 years old. It hurts like hell to me at that time. I had the 2nd ones on both ear when I was ... Secondary 1...? I guess, can't exactly remember. And both got infection 'cause I kept touching them and etc - dumb right?

After these 4 piercings I had, I went to get my upper cartilage piercing this year, in July, followed by the lower one a week later. I did it partially out of impulse and without informing my parents. I did told them I planned to get new piercings but not when. Heh. And pain level is 3.5/10. I don't think they're really experienced but well, other than the pain, everything is cool~ ^^ I did them at Nex, X-Craft and it's $3 each piercing. Cheap, yea? ^^

I kinda got into some trouble due to my piercings in school. Well, we're only allowed to have a pair of ear studs/earrings/ear stick on each ear. But no, I had 6. So I had to hide them from my teacher or use transparent ear sticks. -.- And during O' levels my teachers asked me repeatedly to remove all ear studs to leave good impression, I did - for oral exams that's all. Written papers ... I had my ear studs on. Heh XP

As for my helix and upper lobe, I got them on the same day in midst of having O' levels after watching movie with my family. My mum was objecting the idea but knowing me, stubborn as I usually am, she simply said "ask your dad" thinking my dad would support her. But no, hah, he said okay! ^^ Pain level: 4/10. I did it at the same place but it was another staff who pierced for me. And ouch, srsly. Probably because I did it at night when our blood pressure increase etc. Oh well~ it's all cool too ^^ And no, I did not remove it when I was having my paper. Thanks to my short hair, I covered them up. Heh XD

And as for my inner conch, 'cause it has to be done using needles, I asked my cousin to bring me to where she did her piercings 'cause couple of my friends did their's there too and all the reviews are great. Inner conch was $10 - different piercings have different price there. On the day before I did my piercing, I went online and read some articles if it'll hurt or not. And mostly say it does, and some even say how their's bled. I was scared, hell scared.

But I already y' know asked my cousin out... and it's bad to cancel on her last min. so I went to Pasir Ris and pierced. The staff - a male one - asked me to sit on a stool in front of the cashier and I did. He took out a needle and I got really scared so I grabbed onto on of my brother's hand - yea, they tagged along - and while I was preparing myself mentally, I I felt pain and I thought he's gonna pierce it slowly but no. Less than 10 sec later, "okay." was what I heard. He's done. WTF, fast right?!

$10 for a painless piercing using needle it's really worth it!!! No joke. The pain last for less then 5 mins. Fast piercing and pain goes away fast too. Isn't it great?! OMG. Pain level: 1/10. I'm so going back to get my tragus piercing after Christmas!!! ^^

After getting my piercing, we went to Changi and had a YOLO outing. Hah. We went Astons to have out late lunch. Fucking full  cheap. Where else can you get such great deal?! ^^ And then we went to Dunkin' Donuts. XP we ate 3 each. Heh. YOLO anyway. You only live once, why not enjoy it to the fullest. And eating is happiness~~ ^^

Anyw, gtg~ ^^ heh.
Ciaos~ ^^

Like a living dead

Hey guys~ how have you been? ^^ I've been really really exhausted.Hmm... lemme see... I went Bugis street w' my 2 friends, Sisi and Jiaci. I spent probably $170++ there. OTL That's a lot! And guess what, I bought dress and skirts. OMG, wtf is wrong with me?! Oh well~ I need to go on diet to look good in them!!! T.T

OMG, I'm really excited for tmrw! I'm going chalet w' my beloved family & cousins. Also, we're BBQ-ing (although I said I'm going to go on diet). Sisi and Jiaci are coming too. Guess what?! It's Jiaci's birthday tmrw. Hahas. One more thing, there's MAMA (Mnet Asia Music Awards) tmrw!!! OMGOMGOMGOMG. I honestly hope all my bias win the awards they deserve!

E.g. GD winning the 'Best Male Artiste', 'Best Dance Performance - Male Solo' and 'Best Music Video'; EXO winning the 'Song of the Year', 'Artist of the Year', 'Best Male Group' and 'Best Dance Performance - Male Group'; BTS winning 'Best New Male Artiste' . Okay, it's hard to choose, alright?!

My bias are EXO (of course), the rest... I like them. But EXO just topped. IDK why. They're the only one that made me wanna go concerts etc. OTL I'm spending so much on them! I've spent over $1000++ on them already, and it's not all. But hey, don't judge! I used MY OWN MONEY okay?! I don't go 'hey mum, gimme money, I wanna buy EXO's album'. No, I don't do that. My mum gave me $30 every week for allowance. I saved them by eating less and working etc, I spent my own savings. And I only spent the money I saved that was given. I don't ask my parents for more unless I really need it urgently like for school.

Anyw, look forward to my next post! More pictures will be uploaded! ^^

Back~

헐, finally finished most of the papers. Left with only combined science, MCQ, to go! Sigh, tired. Anyway, I didn't study every single day, of course!

 

Had a meeting with these bunch of girls. ^^ Reason is simple, for EXO. They're all fans, we are all fans. Met them, got close with some of them. So yep, had great fun hanging out with them.

And I'm operating blogshop right now, will also be starting work soon, I guess. Which means less time to update my blog. Oh well~ ^^

That's all I've to say for now. Not in a mood to blog... so yea, bye~

Promises.

"Don't give me the 'promises are meant to be broken' shit. If you made a promise, stick to it. Otherwise, don't make any."

I need a channel to vent out my anger so I guess, I'll do it here. I'm really mad because of what happened with my "bestfriend". Not gonna name who, if you think I'm referring to you, so be it. I'm just gonna write down what I wanna say to her. If she reads it, good than. Otherwise, just think of it as my rant. (:

Why are you constantly breaking the promises you made to me? Why are you always going against your words? You know how much I dislike her, you know we're not really in good terms, than why are you always being with her? Look, if you wanna mix around with her, go ahead. I'm not stopping you. But what pisses me off is the fact that you promised you won't mix with her. You keep your promise for less than a day. Later on, you ran to her and start all these shits again. Than why the fuck did you make such promises to me? You know I hate people breaking their promises, I wouldn't mind if they did it unintentionally and that they really tried to stick to it. But did you? I doubt so.

I really felt as if you're merely using me. Whenever you can't be with them, you'll come to me. And when you can be with them, you just cast me aside and go to them. WTF is this?! I'm not a toy that you can just throw aside after getting bored with it.

You said you dislike me talking about kpop stuffs, I refrained from talking about it to you. You said you dislike me teasing you too much, I tried to refrain. You said my actions always contradict with my words, what about you? Aren't you doing the same too? LMAO.

I'm really sick and tired of all these shits. I don't wanna give up on this friendship but I'm on the verge of doing it alr. Don't make me. Because if I really give up, it'll be the end. 'cause if I really do so, I won't hold back my anger anymore. I've nearly snapped because of you many times, but I held back on the account of our friendship. Lemme tell you this, if I really give up, I'll snap and it'll be fuck this friendship alr. Since I've been bottling up everything for so long, if I really snap I don't even know it myself what I'd do.

Sigh, forget it. I'll just disregard you as my bestfriend from now on. From now on, we're only friends, classmates. That's all. I'm done here.

Peter Pan

"Growing up isn't a choice we can make. But we can choose to live our days to the fullest while growing up."

It was my birthday yesterday and I celebrated by going out for dinner with my family and having a birthday cake. Heh. XP
For dinner, we went to Ichiban Boshi to eat!

 My brother and my drink! <3 It's damn nice!

 Giggs'. It seemed nice... IDK what is it called but it's beef curry.

 Daddy's.

 Our appetizer, haahaas! ^^

Mine and Gavriel's . We ate the same set. ^^

Basically, I studied in the early afternoon, went to dinner in the early evening, tuition at night. And had my birthday cake after tuition! ^^

It's a ice-cream cake from Swensens. Inside, it's Mango & Strawberry flavour! ^^

Heh, I'm officially 16 now !!! ^^ 2 more years, I am a adult. ^^

Memories are full of beautiful shits.

"If you don't love me, let go of me.
 If you do love me, please hold on to me tightly and never let go.
 If you never had plans to catch me, don't trip me.
 If you never will love me, leave me."
- Ven.

"Memories are when you experience it for yourself, not through someone else."
This week, I'm graduating officially from secondary school. Looking back into the past 4 years, many things had happened. Be it shitty and crappy things or wonderful things. There are so many memories that I had made for these 4 years, some are good and some aren't. I'd say, I want to forget the bad memories. But I will not. Because they'll be used as a reminder, a lesson learnt and part of my growth. I had did many stupid things that I bet not many would have done if they're in my position. But nonetheless, it'll be kept as a secret that only some would know.

Memories flooded my mind as I lied down, thinking back about my secondary school. I'd like to talk about it, in hope my readers would not repeat what I did, but I never have the courage to. Some are too ... dark to be known, some are too private, some would invite unwanted judgement, regardless what are they, I'll share some here.

"Before pointing your fingers at anyone else, reflect on yourself first."
On the first day of school, I made some friends after gathering the courage to talk to a girl from my class. But who knows, she joined others instead of continuing to stick around with me. But no, I don't blame anyone. Thinking back right now, I'm at fault too. If it wasn't for my attitude, none of it will happen.
After which, probably because of my arrogance and attitude, more from my class and the level dislike me. Although I do have some friends...
Thankfully, after the 1st semester, 2 girls transferred into my class. I befriended with them. I heard rumours about one of them, and because of it, I stayed away from her and stop being friends with her. Who knows, I was back-stabbed. Those who gossiped about her became her friends. I'm dumb, right? Hahas.
Anyw, the other became my best-friend. She managed to tolerate every flaws I have. Giving in to me, enduring with all the shits about me and etc. Initially, I was afraid she'll leave me like others, but she didn't! There was once, someone from my class asked her "Why did you mix with Venecia so much? She's a bad influence." Luckily, she ignored what that classmate said. It became clear, I can fully trust her and I did. Now, she knows me so well that just by every small things I did, she could guess what I was up to.
Although she left Sg and went M'sia due to personal reasons, we kept in contact. And now, I have 2 new best-friends. I entrusted one of them with a secret that I actually swore to bring to the coffin with me. She is the only one in this world that know about it. The other one doesn't interact with me much as she's more of a quiet person.
And I've made new friends, myself... so I guess everything is alright..? ^^

Tbh, I was in a lot of trouble in secondary school, mostly when I'm in sec 1 and 2... but not gonna talk about it.

And I really regret what I did for past few years, if I could have a time machine and turn back the time, everything will be different. Very different! But guess it's pointless to say it now...

"Age isn't doesn't decide your intelligence and what you've gone through.
 Someone younger might be smarter and gone through more than you did.
 So never underestimate a kid."
- Ven

Facts About Me (Part 5)

1. I love talking on the phone.
2. I'm an insecure, possessive, obsessive, protective, sarcastic, critical, blunt, yet emotional, fun, dense (slow), boyish, loyal and optimistic person. [contradicting right? But that's who I am XP]
3. I have 2 brothers who are 4 years younger than me. - they are twins.
4. I am family-orientated person.
5. I love dogs yet are afraid of 'em. Just like how I like to watch horror movies but would be scared after that.
6. I have height, water and insects phobia. And I hate to be in the dark - literally.
7. I love black, red, purple, white, grey, and other colours of lighter shades.
8. I am very into KPOP, especially EXO. I was introduced to KPOP in 2010 because of Hello Baby SHINee.
9. I love watching dramas, animes, reality shows and variety shows.
10. I love reading novels, mangas and fanfics. I write fanfics too! ^^
11. I would cry when watching any shows or reading novels, mangas, fanfics etc whenever a sad scene or touching scene appears.
12. I love drawings only when I felt like it.
13. I have only a few bestfriends. (eg. Abby, Khadijah, Lynette etc) [not gonna list everyone 'cause I don't felt like doing so]
14. I am a very lazy person.
15. I have issue with trusting someone. I don't trust others so easily now. But at the same time, I am  very naive.
16. I hate being alone.
17. I am very competitive to the point whereby it's annoying.
18. I love eating. Eating is a form of happiness. ^^
19. I believe in miracles, soulmates, spiritual world, aliens and the fact that there is more than one dimension in this world.
20. My mood changes fast.
21. I am a chatty person, I love talking to people.
22. I am someone who gives up and gives in easily. OTL
23. I always leave things halfway done. (eg. swimming classes, guitar lessons etc)
24. I love dancing but I suck at it. Whatever.
25. I love taking photos just that I'm too lazy to put them up on SNS.
26. I love singing but I am tone-deaf. OTL
27. I am planning to take vocal, guitar, dance and Korean classes after O' levels.
28. I have many places I wanna go. (Eg. Maldives, Korea, Japan, etc)
29. I always put up a strong front. XP
30. I wanna try doing Bungee Jumping or Sky Diving.
31. I prefer wine over beer.
32. I have all sorts of dreams.
33. I love being surrounded by friends. I love companies.
34. I have one-sided hearing impaired. My right ear is deaf. Hence I have problems with balancing too.
35. My parents seemed more like my siblings than my parents.
36. I am egoistic and self-centred sometimes
37. I've thought of the things I'd do with my future boyfriend
38. I don't like cats.
39. I've had fishes as pet before.
40. I've had imaginary friends that I used to play with when I was younger.
41. I wished to have a older brother.
42. I am easily distracted.
43. I have great fashion sense for guys but not girls, I think?
44. I get along better with people older than me.
45. I love kids. Especially those below 5.
46. I cry at trivial matters and get mad over small things easily
47. I prefer dark chocolate than other chocolates.
48. I open up to people easily though I have trust issues. OMG. Contradicting right? OTL
49. I am not good at expressing myself. (Just like Infinite's L.)
50. I am not afraid of lizards but I'm afraid of cockroaches and other insects. Unless they can't fly.
51. My grades are dependable on whether I like the teacher or not.
52. I wanted Poodles as pet. ^^
53. I used to have a crush on Peter Pan, and I wished both Peter Pan, fairies and Neverland exist.
54. I fall easily, crashes hard and it's hard for me to fall out of love.
55. I can speak English, Mandarin, basic Korean, Hokkien and Teochew. But my pronunciations for dialects are off.
56. I don't have much patience and I am fierce (according to my mum)
57. My favourite subjects are: Math, Physics, Chinese and Humanities. But I can't seemed to do well. OTL
58. I am chubby and I have an average height.
59. People who live their dreams are cool to me. In society now, people are working for sake of money and are unhappy. ):
60. "Live your dream and be unique; No one holds you back, the greatest enemy is you yourself." is my motto