Memories are full of beautiful shits.

"If you don't love me, let go of me.
 If you do love me, please hold on to me tightly and never let go.
 If you never had plans to catch me, don't trip me.
 If you never will love me, leave me."
- Ven.

"Memories are when you experience it for yourself, not through someone else."
This week, I'm graduating officially from secondary school. Looking back into the past 4 years, many things had happened. Be it shitty and crappy things or wonderful things. There are so many memories that I had made for these 4 years, some are good and some aren't. I'd say, I want to forget the bad memories. But I will not. Because they'll be used as a reminder, a lesson learnt and part of my growth. I had did many stupid things that I bet not many would have done if they're in my position. But nonetheless, it'll be kept as a secret that only some would know.

Memories flooded my mind as I lied down, thinking back about my secondary school. I'd like to talk about it, in hope my readers would not repeat what I did, but I never have the courage to. Some are too ... dark to be known, some are too private, some would invite unwanted judgement, regardless what are they, I'll share some here.

"Before pointing your fingers at anyone else, reflect on yourself first."
On the first day of school, I made some friends after gathering the courage to talk to a girl from my class. But who knows, she joined others instead of continuing to stick around with me. But no, I don't blame anyone. Thinking back right now, I'm at fault too. If it wasn't for my attitude, none of it will happen.
After which, probably because of my arrogance and attitude, more from my class and the level dislike me. Although I do have some friends...
Thankfully, after the 1st semester, 2 girls transferred into my class. I befriended with them. I heard rumours about one of them, and because of it, I stayed away from her and stop being friends with her. Who knows, I was back-stabbed. Those who gossiped about her became her friends. I'm dumb, right? Hahas.
Anyw, the other became my best-friend. She managed to tolerate every flaws I have. Giving in to me, enduring with all the shits about me and etc. Initially, I was afraid she'll leave me like others, but she didn't! There was once, someone from my class asked her "Why did you mix with Venecia so much? She's a bad influence." Luckily, she ignored what that classmate said. It became clear, I can fully trust her and I did. Now, she knows me so well that just by every small things I did, she could guess what I was up to.
Although she left Sg and went M'sia due to personal reasons, we kept in contact. And now, I have 2 new best-friends. I entrusted one of them with a secret that I actually swore to bring to the coffin with me. She is the only one in this world that know about it. The other one doesn't interact with me much as she's more of a quiet person.
And I've made new friends, myself... so I guess everything is alright..? ^^

Tbh, I was in a lot of trouble in secondary school, mostly when I'm in sec 1 and 2... but not gonna talk about it.

And I really regret what I did for past few years, if I could have a time machine and turn back the time, everything will be different. Very different! But guess it's pointless to say it now...

"Age isn't doesn't decide your intelligence and what you've gone through.
 Someone younger might be smarter and gone through more than you did.
 So never underestimate a kid."
- Ven